Effie White

I’m Effie, a towheaded sexual deviant prone to introspection and hedonistic escapades. I curate erotic subplots.

I was born when a promiscuous PhD candidate became claustrophobic climbing the tower and left in search of adventure and human connection. Too frugal (and, at the time, broke) to splurge on a backpacking trip across Europe, I started googling and realized I could probably cross the Atlantic without a plane ticket.

My suspicion proved correct: the demimonde welcomed me with open arms, offering insight and enrichment unmatched by any academic institution or geographic location.

A now-fabled harlot, I was once the first runner-up in the “SP of the Year” competition on a local review board. As luck would have it, the winner was unable to re-enter the country following her holiday vacation, leaving me to reign for a year. This was also the year I began a more practical professional degree, convinced that it was time to “grow up” and join the “real world.”

But somehow, despite my sincere efforts to enjoy a LinkedIn-appropriate measure of success in life, I find that I am unable to live in a world where there are no lingerie-clad women waiting behind condo doors; where knowing glances are not shared by dinner companions with hotel rooms waiting to be defiled; and where there are no orgies to attend at large, eccentrically decorated houses.

I need to live in an enchanted world, and I suspect you do too.

These days, I cater less to those typing furiously on keyboards, embellishing accounts of their dalliances or complaining about the price mechanism, and more to those seeking refuge from the indignities and absurdities of late capitalism — or whatever you want to call the current predicament.

I trade in genuine connection; I want to know your story: Where do you come from? What brings you joy? What keeps you up at night? Who was your first crush? What was the name of your childhood pet, and why did you pick that name? I have many questions and suggest you book at least two hours.

You will find that I am a soft and sensual lover with a kind heart, quick wit, and dirty mind. Given my own sexual proclivities, I am particularly attuned to the manner in which darker narratives inform pleasure and intimacy. I also make a fascinating dinner date and formidable scrabble opponent.

Unfortunately, this whole “career” thing I’ve gotten myself into does sometimes get in the way of the enchantment. (Is there a reason why they can’t just e-transfer us the money absent the labour?) But I can assure you that once you’ve made it into the fold, I will carve out time for us to escape together.

Excited to flesh out our story…